kilgore trout (lefthanded) wrote,
kilgore trout
lefthanded

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I can never think of appropriate titles

Life’s been pretty good for the past five months. A few crappy things probably happened at various times, but in general my life has been filled with pleasantness. Also, I think I’m a genius now, but more on that some other time. I have a girlfriend of whom I care for dearly. She wouldn’t appreciate my using her real name in this public forum, so I’ll call her Josh 2.0, as she is in many senses his replacement. Josh 2.0 kicks ass, and she’s a good influence on me because she’s so orderly. We talk about interesting stuff, hang out a lot, go to movies, go to shows, get it on. My brother claims it’s inevitable that we’ll be together for the rest of college, which sounds both intimidating and reassuring.

This school year’s almost over, which means I’m almost a quarter done with my undergraduate career, which means that, including graduate school, I only have like ten years left of schooling. That’s pretty sweet. So here’s my life plan: Either meet someone new or stay with Josh 2.0, but either way, be married by 27, get my Ph.D. at 28, work at a physics lab, but write novels on the side that penetrate and expose the ironies and pains of the human condition, and in a period of about 20 years win like 5 Pulitzers, move on to a life of public isolation, return another 20 years later to overwhelming media attention and glorification with a pretentious and outdated novel that fails to expose anything about anything, return to isolation, and 5 years later, in my last moments, dying on my bed, raise my arm to the ceiling as if struggling for something just out of reach, whisper "Light! More Light!" with what little strength I’ll have left, and collapse into death.
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